Time is short...

About 2 weeks ago, I found out that my oldest brother is having problems with his brain shrinking, plus it looks as though he may have had a blood clot. Part of his brain has died in the frontal lobe. I haven't seen the MRI yet, so I'm not sure where exactly. The doctor was shocked at how small his brain has become.

He's had always been pretty smart, but now he can't even complete a simple IQ test. He has a hard time speaking; says "no" when he means "yes" and vise versa. Actually the reverse of what he wants comes out.

Like today, my Sis and I had just put my Mom on the plane to go see my nephew’s graduation in Missouri. My oldest brother was at work (at least he can still work) and my Sis called him on the cell phone. She asked him if he was hunger and where would he like to go. He said "I want to watch Stargate on Sci-Fi". She called me and said that she did not know what to do because she was already driving over to pick him up. But when she got there, he was already waiting for her.

He's become more agreeable when you make a decision for him. My guess is that it relieves him of having to struggle to make a decision. He is being treated for this and will be going for further tests to see if it is early dementia, or worse.

Back 6 months ago, we took a trip to Port Aransas, Texas to go to my 2nd cousin's wedding. I drove my Mom and Brother down since they don't have much money, paid for the hotel room, etc. The week before, he had had a severe head ache. He has had always had sinus head aches, so we never really thought much of it.

That weekend, it was like he slipped back to being a 5 year old child, throwing tantrums, stomping his feet, etc. Was quite odd. Now that I think back, it makes sense. (The front part of your brain deals with higher emotional decision and recognition. If anybody knows better, please help!)

With this, my cousin being diagnosed with breast cancer, Razz's passing, and all, I think I've finally realized how short the time is we have here on earth among our family and friends.

Before, I've had family members pass, but it never really had bothered me much. I guess it is because they suffered by lingering on 3-5 years before finally passing on. It was more of a relief than of pain.

Now, I see it differently. I'm still dealing with this, and have not quite figured it out. That makes it hard for me to put into words.